“Don’t take this the wrong way, but your house is a very nice starter home.”
“Why do you need to move? Your house is already huge.”
Both of these things have been said about the same house — my current home — by two of my closest friends.
Our house is just shy of 2,000 square feet. My mother said that when it was built 70 years ago, it probably would have been considered a large house. In 2020, I would consider it a small-to-medium sized house for four people.
Over the summer, my husband and I (okay, I) decided to build an addition — the family room we always wanted for our house. Our current living room feels cramped when more than four people hang out there. We were extremely excited about the project and were down to deciding between two contractors that both seemed excellent.
Then project then came to a screeching halt. I got coffee with a friend — one of the most financially savvy, practical friends — to ask her honest opinion about the addition. (Frankly, I was having a few doubts about the project — it would have been a huge investment of time, money, and energy.( When I told her what it was estimated to cost, she said she owed it to myself to at least look at houses to be sure this is what we wanted to invest in. Sigh. I agreed it was a good idea.
The next day, I toured an open house of a home I saw online and loved (with a mask; luckily no one was there but the real estate agent) that was within our price range. It was enough to make me rethink the addition.
I have heard so many horror stories about additions — even those that went “well.” Two people on our street ran into legal trouble with contractors. My sister ended up having to move out of her house due to construction work, which was not planned. It uprooted her life for months.
However, I’m still not 100% into the idea of moving. Maybe it’s because I moved five times in a 10-year period and I’m still exhausted from the experience, even though it was four years ago. The last time we moved, we only had one kid and an apartment’s worth of stuff.
I am emotionally invested in this house. We’ve raised two kids here. Their playground is in the backyard. The patio is where they’ve drawn with chalk. I measured them and noted their height near Nora’s closet. Our house is not perfect, but it’s good enough for me.
We have wonderful neighbors, a 20-minute walk to the metro station, a 5-minute drive to a a major town center, and three wonderful playground within a 7-minute walk. We have a large backyard that has been worth its weight in gold during the pandemic with two little kids.
Why would I give that up?
Because we don’t have a garage or a basement. Our dining room feels cramped, and our living room feels cramped with more than 5 people. All our bathrooms feel cramped.
Just this evening at dinner, Nora remarked about how we wanted to have a playdate with a girl in her class who speaks Spanish.
Would we be giving something major up in exposing our kids to different cultures and people from different walks of life if we move into a more homogenous neighborhood? I truly think we would.
I think in the meantime, I need to declutter more and do some decorating to make our current house feel more livable. And I will probably keep looking at houses, but there’s no rush.
